What to Do If You’re Worried About Someone

Seeing a loved one struggle as they age can be deeply concerning. You may notice changes in their personality, behavior, or ability to care for themselves. Addressing these issues isn’t always easy. Fear of offending them or acknowledging their declining health may hold you back from having candid conversations. However, talking openly and listening to each other is the best starting point.

This page provides guidance on assessing your concerns, having sensitive discussions, and getting help if needed. With compassion and understanding, you can provide meaningful support to your loved one.

Assessing Your Concerns

Before approaching your loved one, reflect objectively on specific changes that worry you. Make note of patterns like:

• Decline in personal hygiene, home cleanliness
• Forgetting to take medications, missing appointments
• Not eating properly or signs of malnutrition
• Disengaging from social activities and isolation
• Recent falls, injuries or hospital visits
• Confusion, memory lapses, disorientation
• Mood changes like depression or agitation

While some decline is normal with age, significant changes in their safety, health or wellbeing signal a need for support.

Having a Conversation

Plan a private conversation to share your specific concerns and hear their perspective. Avoid lecturing or judgment. Instead show empathy, ask thoughtful questions, and focus on solutions:

• “I’ve noticed some changes lately I’m worried about. Can we talk?”
• “I care about you and want to understand what you’re going through.”
• “What kind of support would help make things easier for you?”

If they deny any issues, don’t argue. Reassure your support, revisit the topic later, and contact their doctor if appropriate. Your caring presence alone can provide comfort.

Getting Outside Help

If your loved one needs assistance beyond your abilities, suggest involving professionals. Recommend a medical evaluation or connect them to social services through the local council. Offer to attend appointments together for moral support.

If safety is at risk, raise an adult safeguarding concern or call emergency services if urgent. However, strive to preserve their dignity and autonomy if possible. Access resources for guidance during this challenging time.

Supporting Their Wishes

The person you care for has a right to make their own choices, even if you feel they’re unwise, provided they retain mental capacity. Your role is to listen, express your care, provide facts, and assist them in getting appropriate help based on their goals. With patience and love, you can have meaningful end-of-life conversations.

Though difficult, speaking candidly and compassionately empowers you to support your loved one during this vulnerable life stage.